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10 phrases to make resume sound better
  1. I’ve never been convicted of a felony.
  2. I get along well with people provided they don’t stare at me.
  3. I’m eager to claw my way to the top.
  4. My coworkers have appreciated the air of security I provide by always bringing a firearm to work.
  5. I don’t even know how to blow a whistle.
  6. If sexual harassment is a plague, a night with me is the cure.
  7. I have never sued a former employer without significant provocation.
  8. I’ve learned the best way to appease an angry client is to remind him or her of what life would be like if their account and personal information was published online anonymously.
  9. I was responsible for a 35% drop in workplace accidents when I left my last job.
  10. Team player.
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08 February 2010 · advice & self-help
The page found by the original query:
Phrases and words to avoid
Greatest Generation
Aristotle was Alexander the Great’s personal instructor. The Age of Reason was so full of art, science, discovery, and the first enlightened politics in human history that it dwarfs Alexander’s period.
Greatest Generation, the
the generation which was the greatest at pumping DDT into the environment, looking the other way while the Jewish question was being answered, looting Europe, raising a generation of drug addled sex-addicts entirely unfit to be parents when their turn came, testing radioactive and toxic materials on unwitting human subjects, carving entire industries out of the pointless maiming, torture and forced cannibalism of animals, relegating ethics to historical record, and beating down minority races and women; truly they were great.
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07 February 2010 · America the beautiful
The page found by the original query:
Greatest Generation, the—The Devil’s Dictionary X™
ASS DON'T STINK SPRAY

Ass Don’t Stink Spray

Cross-posted for the creatively inclined: Add your own tagline.
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07 February 2010 · politics
The page found by the original query:
Sedition·com: Sedition·com archived dailies
pornography scare tactics
There ain’t nothing anyone can say that will do more damage to the industry than moving to high definition video.
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06 February 2010 · sex counselor
The page found by the original query:
Words that start with D—The Devil’s Dictionary X™
ridiculous self-help advice
Everything’s going to be all right.
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06 February 2010 · advice & self-help
The page found by the original query:
Self-help American-style » Sedition·com
suicide please -prevention -guide -help
If queries could make you cry…
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05 February 2010 · advice & self-help
The page found by the original query:
Sedition·com | Six sets of my suicide note, please
the bat and the weasel with picture
A-Weasel
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05 February 2010 · celebrity & Hollywood
The page found by the original query:
The Bat and the Weasels » The Æsop for Chi…
sedition what if I had a knife
That’s why I carry a Browning.
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05 February 2010 · PR
The page found by the original query:
Dailies » Sedition·com
love my love penis while i drink your milk
And they say Neruda doesn’t translate.
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05 February 2010 · speaking in tongues
The page found by the original query:
Penis milk » Sedition·com
jquery plugin grayout
It’s a wild stab in the dark but I suspect you want the jQuery plugin blockUI. It will “grayout” the page when activated.
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04 February 2010 · Internet & computing
The page found by the original query:
dropJ—jQuery plugin for drop caps
mean scemo
It means exactly what it sounds like when speaking fake Italian: shame-o.
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04 February 2010 · speaking in tongues
The page found by the original query:
QueryLog: what does Che scemo mean?
dolphin vs. human
Fair fight, I suppose…
Føroyingar showing how traditional they are Japanese showing how modern and enlightened they are
Lord loves Him some Føroyingar and Nipponese. Doesn’t seem too partial to sea going mammals.
See also: Gruesome Whale and Dolphin Bloodletting Massacre in Europe and Oscar® nominee The Cove.
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03 February 2010 · science & nature
The page found by the original query:
Distraction news #1: Baiji vs “Chinese dol…
ex boyfriend is a stalker
Try to see things from his point of view for a change and maybe you’ll lose the hysterical edge. Unless of course his point of view is from outside your bathroom window…
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02 February 2010 · advice & self-help
The page found by the original query:
ex-boyfriend—The Devil’s Dictionary X™
Jane, you ignorant slut origin
It’s from Saturday Night Live when it wasn’t embarrassing to be a fan…
Oh, that’s completely different. Never mind.
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02 February 2010
The page found by the original query:
Sedition·com: I have a theory
What do you get a Pisces?
How about some anti-‌depressants? No, I mean a bottle of vodka and a handgun! Damn my Gemini hide.
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07 January 2010 · advice & self-help
The page found by the original query:
QueryLog: How to get over a Pisces bastard.
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