Queries & Responses for 07 May 2005

"mint condition means"
In the condition of just having come out of the mint; as a newly minted coin.
It means: no dings, no scratches, no discoloration, no fractures, no blemishes or structural defects of any kind, not an iota of rust on the frets and pick-‌ups, and in 100% perfect working order as a new American made Jackson should be, you asshole.
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07 May 2005 · potluck
The page found by the original query:
eBay—The Devil’s Dictionary X™
White Supremacy [2]
As long as it’s still before 2am I’ll go with Taco Supremacy instead, thank you.
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07 May 2005 · white guys
The page found by the original query:
Sedition·com: White supremacy pride checkl…
thomas paine for sale
Now there’s some reliquary I could get behind.
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07 May 2005 · government
The page found by the original query:
majenta || Thomas Paine Will Buy Me My Fir…
dirty italian poems
che io sono é uno majordomo,
sono sveglio, raffinato, e affilato.
dove sto é nelle travi del duomo,
sono stronzissimo mai mal cagato.
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07 May 2005 · speaking in tongues
The page found by the original query:
majenta || my young mom || sedition.com
define the word philistine
Define it yourself. What do you think I am, you Pharisee? A Luddite?
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07 May 2005 · speaking in tongues
The page found by the original query:
Words that start with W—The Devil’s Dictionary X™
cunt hair
An archaic expression meaning an extremely small amount or distance. Perhaps with the popularity of the television program Deadwood it will experience a resurgence; assuming the ever more popular Brazilian wax hasn’t eradicated all such animals by next Spring break.
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07 May 2005 · C-bomb & scatological friends
The page found by the original query:
majenta || BETTER LIVING || sedition.com
catching your husband masturbating
So what? The whole reason affairs and cheating hurt is because of the emotional involvement. Some solo fluid expression doesn’t hurt anyone and he’s unlikely to develop an emotional attachment to the shower drain.
If you sincerely want him to stop doing it, offer to do it for him.
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07 May 2005 · sex counselor
The page found by the original query:
majenta || Reactionary Fungi || sedition.com
children bible study questions
1) Does it scare you when God kills all the first born children of the Egyptians? Do you worry your parents or President might do something wrong to make Him kill you too?
2) When Jesus says He will kill the children of the prostitute in Revelation does it make you worry about your mother’s appearance in Girls Gone Wild during her sophomore Spring break?
3) When Lot offers his virgin teen daughters to be raped and sodomized by the angry crowd outside to protect the visiting Angels do you hope your dad would do the same?
4) Do you think Cain should have had sexual intercourse with his mother? How might the human race have filled the Earth otherwise?
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07 May 2005 · Bible study
The page found by the original query:
Sedition·com: Discussion questions for you…
White Supremacy
A discredited art theory that gained in popularity in certain lay-‌circles during the early part of the 1900s.
In short, the theory states that a blank canvas, with no thought, no creativity, no paint, no effort—plain white, just as God made it—was superior to the more colorful works of people like Leonardo da Vinci and El Greco.
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07 May 2005 · race relations · white guys
The page found by the original query:
Sedition·com: White supremacy pride checkl…
someone fucked my mom
When people quote Descartes they usually leave that part out but you are correct. Properly it is:
I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore someone fucked my mom.
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07 May 2005 · your mother
The page found by the original query:
majenta || my young mom || sedition.com
retards are funny because they wet their pants
And assholes are just positively hysterical because they die alone in federal nursing homes of cancer and Alzheimer’s.
And just to check-‌in and make sure it hadn’t passed you by—when people like me use the word retard we’re not talking about people who are literally mentally-‌handicapped. We’re talking about you.
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07 May 2005 · potluck
The page found by the original query:
Sedition·com: PBS Kids
rejection of pascal's wager
The odds always favor the house. If you don’t bet, you can’t lose.
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07 May 2005 · Bible study
The page found by the original query:
Sedition·com: Links to other sites
real life problems for kids to solve
Given the topic Apple Trees, solve: “How to take a better bounce.”
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07 May 2005 · advice & self-help
The page found by the original query:
Sedition·com: 10 steps to solve the proble…
real men don't masturbate
It’s all about the autofellatio, my man.
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07 May 2005 · sex counselor
The page found by the original query:
Words that start with M—The Devil’s Dictionary X™
What is electricity and how do you explain it?
How do I explain it? I just say it’s caused by faeries or angels or dragons or some shit. Sure beats learning anything.
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07 May 2005 · science & nature
The page found by the original query:
Sedition·com: Speaking of electricity
german word for nigger
Uh… Bayer? No, no, I know! Österreicher.
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07 May 2005 · international issues
The page found by the original query:
Words that start with N—The Devil’s Dictionary X™
Assorted: Nude Girls, naked young girls, girls Skinny Dipping pics, fuck my wife, nude girls ass, ad infinitum.
Okay, first, being caught with child porn (that’s 17 and under) will get you a boyfriend named Cyril in the state pen who hires out your rectum for cigarettes; here’s more about that and how easy it is to get caught.
Second, you’re doing it wrong; I suspect you’re going to hear that a lot in life. That’s not how you find it. You want to pick the piece of anatomy that you’re after and search Google for its dirtiest slang term, then click on “Images,” then click on “Large.” If “SafeSearch” is on, turn it off. Enjoy yourself and don’t make a mess.
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07 May 2005 · sex counselor
The page found by the original query:
Sedition·com: Young nude girls
why should one want to know anything about wikipedia
How about because one works at the crapulent Britannica.com and realizes a pension is probably out of the question at this point?
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07 May 2005 · Internet & computing
The page found by the original query:
Sedition·com: Self-help American-style
widows & orphans in grammar
Widows and orphans have nothing to do with grammar. They’re typographical terms. They correspond to single line left on the top or bottom of a page, as the end or start of an article or chapter, and to a single word left at the end of paragraph. There is nothing wrong with them today.
They were once considered bad and visually jarring. That was back when publishers and editors knew what they were doing and gave a ripe fuck at a rolling Cheerio (no offense to my good friend, the retired 4-‌star General Mills).
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07 May 2005 · Ps & Qs
The page found by the original query:
Common design mistakes and pitfalls
will cocaine addicts tell you the truth
Maybe about wanting to fuck when they’re high and wanting to get high when they’re not. Maybe.
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07 May 2005 · wine & roses
The page found by the original query:
majenta || 7 Sobriety Myths || sedition.com
will anti freeze kill rats
And raccoons, skunks, mice, squirrels, cats, dogs, and 2 year-‌olds. Don’t be a fuckhead. Keep it contained and out of reach, and make sure your car isn’t leaking. Anything less is dangerous and often illegal.
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07 May 2005 · science & nature
The page found by the original query:
majenta || Nature & Science || sedition.com
why gullible was removed from dictionary
The AHOLS (American Heritage Organization of Love and Sympathy) correctly and bravely determined that the word was eroding the self-‌esteem of overly-‌trusting individuals who were also born without the gene that allows one to form cogent assessments of rudimentary issues. So today the word, along with many other hate-‌terms and epithets, is not found in reputable dictionaries. I know I feel better about myself for it.
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07 May 2005 · speaking in tongues
The page found by the original query:
gullible—The Devil’s Dictionary X™
why is a baby making me suicidal
It is, sadly, a somewhat natural and common response. Don’t feel alone but do get help and don’t wait to do it. Get help today. You could start here: Postpartum Depression.
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07 May 2005 · health & medicine
The page found by the original query:
Sedition·com: A homophobic, baby killing, …
why do japan want to buy syrup?
What?! Jesus Pinkerton Christ, it’s like you people have a psychological profile of me and know exactly where the stress points are.
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07 May 2005 · potluck
The page found by the original query:
majenta || Koh Samet || sedition.com
why are tigers so important?
Because they’re real go getters whereas lions can barely be bothered to choke down one or two Christians in a week.
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07 May 2005 · science & nature
The page found by the original query:
Sedition·com: The tiger and the bear
why are asian girls so skinny
Unless they’re from Asia or first generation Americans, they’re not. Very generally, the Asian diet, average family income level, and work ethic keeps people healthier. Once they’ve escaped their aunties and grandparents and become full-‌on cheese-‌choking, super-‌sized Pepsi swilling Americans, that all disappears just like it did for the Poles, Germans, Irish, Jews, Swedes, and Italians.
I can’t believe I made it through that without mentioning Margaret Cho.
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07 May 2005 · race relations
The page found by the original query:
Sedition·com: Nathan Hale Cross Country gi…
will oil start world war 3
You’re still worried about oil? I’d take a fucking second to have a nice breather and consider instead what civil war in the US west might look like when Arizona uses up the last of the freshwater keeping golf-‌courses and show-‌lawns in 110° weather and the price of municipal water goes over a dollar a gallon. Tens of millions of people die every year from lack of fresh water now, not in some imaginary future where oil and shale and natural gas is finally running low and the tides are running a foot and a half higher. When it’s not just people south of the Equator dying like fraternity brain cells during pledge week I think you might see a change in world-‌wide focus.
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07 May 2005 · America the beautiful · war & peace
The page found by the original query:
Words that start with I—The Devil’s Dictionary X™
will queers go to heaven?
There are two schools of thought on this.
A) No. The Old Testament is quite clear that being gay means you are abominable and shouldn’t even be allowed to live, let alone go to Heaven. Others barred from the everlasting love of Elohim include the tattooed, off-‌kosher dieters, and rapists who get caught but don’t marry their victims (the Bible says rape is fine if you don’t get caught or if you’re willing to do the right thing).
B) Sure. The New Testament is in parts somewhat clear that accepting the blood of the Christ for your sins—even if you had babies for breakfast every day of your adult life and you’re raping a nun right after dinner—gets you to Heaven. It doesn’t matter how evil your deeds are since we’re all born evil. It only matters that you accept Christ’s sacrifice.
There’s the rarely mentioned C) which I don’t mind bringing up now and then. Matthew 5:17-‌18 explicitly, and with no possibility of uncertainty or interpretation, that A) trumps B) because B) says it does.
What a beautiful book.
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07 May 2005 · Bible study
The page found by the original query:
Sedition·com: 40 acres and a ploughshare
who's voice is it on the vagisil commercial
It was the star of the 1977 movie Chatterbox. The name escapes me but I’ll never forget the face.
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07 May 2005 · OBGYN
The page found by the original query:
majenta || Holy Snakes! || sedition.com
all four letter words start with L and end with E
perl -ne 'print if /^l..e$/i' /usr/share/dict/words
That will do the trick though you might have to locate your own dictionary file.
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07 May 2005 · Internet & computing
The page found by the original query:
Words that start with E—The Devil’s Dictionary X™
what is a sucker punch
Those are nice shoes. Are they supposed to be tied like that?
Pow!
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07 May 2005 · potluck
The page found by the original query:
sucker punch—The Devil’s Dictionary X™
pakistan bitch
I suppose that would be Pervez Musharraf.
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07 May 2005 · politics
The page found by the original query:
Sedition·com: Bring back the oldies to Pak…
mary shelley pen name
The story is likely apocryphal but legend has it that called them all Chester.
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07 May 2005 · speaking in tongues
The page found by the original query:
majenta || why I took the curious pen name…