Queries & Responses for 28 July 2005

sexual term for black eye
I have the wife call ’em “little love taps.” Helps her keep in mind what some serious loving is like.
Me: Okay, stop.
Myself: O que? O que há?
Me: You’re not as cute as you seem to think.
Myself: Okay, then. What is it this time?
Me: That was too much, man. What’s Julie gonna say when she reads that tomorrow?
Myself: She’ll tell me how funny it is. …If she knows what’s good for her.
Me: See, what is that? You’re still doing it. You can’t just write that you beat your wife.
Myself: Oh, you’re right. That would be like, what do they call it, evidence. What should I do?
Me: Apologize to her and tell her it was just a shtick.
Myself: A stick? Like a wife-‌correcting stick?
Me: No, shtick!
Myself: I don’t get it. That’s not funny. This response was funny before you got involved.
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28 July 2005 · sex counselor
pronunciation of word ideals
It’s commonly pronounced, ha-‌ha-‌ha-‌ha. But not by me, motherfucker. Not by me.
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28 July 2005 · speaking in tongues
I wish I had never been born
You won’t forever. Probably not even tomorrow. Hold on to that.
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28 July 2005 · advice & self-help
can you wish someone in your life?
Lord knows I’m wishing one anonymous netizen out of my life right now.
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28 July 2005 · potluck
object up the ass
That’s not funny. You’re not funny.
“Object: Up the Ass.”
That’s funny. I’m funny.
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28 July 2005 · potluck
chelsea clinton vanity fair
Chelsea Clinton v Willendorf Venus A little over three years ago there was a news headline “Vanity Fair Sees Chelsea Transformed to Sex Symbol.” At the time I made fun of the headline. I was wrong to do that and I apologize. I was wrong about it all, in fact. As an art historian I should have realized at the time that if the Willendorf Venus can be a sex symbol, so can Chelsea.
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28 July 2005 · celebrity & Hollywood
The page found by the original query:
Sedition·com: Chelsea Clinton
the devil is a pussy
That must be why he gets to destroy the world and basically all of mankind when God abandons it completely in the time of Revelation. Weak.
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28 July 2005 · Bible study
The page found by the original query:
Words that start with V—The Devil’s Dictionary X™
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