Most Popular Queries & Responses Today

really young nude
You: “I’m looking for really young nudes.”
Me: “Right on. Right on. So like 3..? 4…?”
You: “Oh! That’s just sick!”
Me: “Oh, excuse me. I do apologize.”
You: “I mean, Jesus! What do you think I am?”
Me: “Really, I am sorry.”
You: “I hope so.”
Me: “So, what did you have in mind?”
You: “Well, you know… …8 or 9.”
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06 May 2005 · sex counselor
The page found by the original query:
Sedition·com: Young nude girls
Why was the nuclear bomb created.
The same 2 reasons all terrible things are done: we can and we’re afraid someone else will.
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26 February 2004 · science & nature
perl css cgi
Here’s a partial rundown of ways to include stylesheets in Perl CGI.
Using CGI.pm’s start_html() to embed a style <link> in the page <head>. 
print start_html(-title=>'Zen and the Art of CSS',
                 -style => { -src => '/mycss/yes.css',
                             -type => 'text/css',
                             -media => 'screen' },
                 );
Using CGI.pm’s head attribute of start_html() with many sheets in <link> tags, including an RSS link. Note the Link() function which is titlecased to avoid clashing with the perl built-‌in link. 
my @three_sheets = qw( one.css 2.css three.css );
my @head_items = map { Link({-rel => 'stylesheet',
                             -type => 'text/css',
                             -media => 'screen',
                             -src => "/css/$_"})
                      } @three_sheets;

push @head_items,
    Link({-rel => 'alternate',
          -type => 'application/rss+xml',
          -title => 'RSS',
          -href => 'http://querylog.com/feed/rss',
         });

print start_html({-head => \@head_items});
CGI.pm again, manually putting a <link> string into the head. 
my $css = '<link rel="stylesheet" ' .
    'type="text/css" href="/css/sedly.css" />';

print start_html({-head => $css});
CGI.pm doing raw style text from DATA section inline. It could also be brought in from a file, of course. 
print
    start_html
        (-title => $title,
         -head  => style({-type => 'text/css'},
                         join('', <DATA>), # slurp __DATA__
                         )
         );

# Rest of script...

__DATA__
.element { color:#a00; padding:1ex }
.etc { ... }
CGI.pm styled element inline. 
print div({-style => 'border:1px dotted gray;'},
          'Boxed in');
CGI.pm element inline with scalar. 
my $css = 'font-size:%105;font-variant:small-caps';
print b({-style => $css},
        'The Case of the Title Case');
CGI.pm element inline with reusable hash—a hash reference is the cleanest way—of style. 
my $style = { -style => 'font-family:optima,sans-serif' };
print p($style,
        'Asdf',
        'query ' x 80);
Plain old XHTML used with Template. 
<div style="float:right">[% my_box %]</div>
Roll your own. 
print style(fontColor => '#039',
            font_family => 'helvetica,sans-serif',
            'font-weight' => 'bold');

sub style {
    my @attr = @_;
    return '' unless @attr;
    my @pairs;
    # to preserve order, matters for CSS
    while ( my ( $key, $value ) = splice(@attr,0,2) ) {
        $key =~ s/(?!\A)_/-/;                 # Hungarian
        $key =~ s/(?!\A)(\p{IsUpper})/-\l$1/; # or camel
        push @pairs, "$key:$value";
    }
    return join("; ", @pairs, "\n");
}
Printing style straight out of a here doc. 
print <<'HTMLextravaganza';
<?xml version="1.0" encoding="iso-8859-1" ?>
<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Transitional//EN"
 "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-transitional.dtd"> 
<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"
 lang="en-US" xml:lang="en-US">
<head>
<style type="text/css" medium="screen">
/* blah, blah, blah */
</style>
</head>
HTMLextravaganza
Managing your CSS with modules. 
use CSS;
my $css = CSS->new();
my @css_files = qw( ./css/ddx.css ./css/rez.css );
$css->read_file( @css_files );
print $css->output();

use CSS::Tiny;
my $css = CSS::Tiny->read('./css/ddx.css');
$css->{'.newstyle'} = { color => '#abc' };
print $css->html();
And a somewhat expanded example of Perl CGI with CSS in the __DATA__ and as a single link in the head.
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29 July 2005 · Internet & computing
The page found by the original query:
CGI with stylesheet
how to make heavy water nuclear bomb
This is actually a lot easier than the “scientists” let on.
In fact, the first part is so simple, you can make heavy water in your backyard if you’re relatively muscular. You need a heavy duty bucket with a handle; remember the water will be heavier in the end so don’t scrimp on a quality bucket! Fill it with regular municipal water from your garden hose. Take the bucket where you have plenty of room. Hold it at arm’s length and spin.
The centripetal force acts in concert with the centrifugal force at the Quantum level. If you can keep it up—2 minutes per CC of water—the water molecules rearrange and accrue the per mole weight increment usually equal to the cube root of Avogadro’s number.
Ah, but who am I telling this to? I’m sure you already know all about it. I probably sound like a moron trying to explain it.
Good luck with your bomb! Let us know how it works out. ;)
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01 June 2005 · war & peace
The page found by the original query:
Sedition·com: I am selling a nuclear bomb …
all four letter words start with L and end with E
perl -ne 'print if /^l..e$/i' /usr/share/dict/words
That will do the trick though you might have to locate your own dictionary file.
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07 May 2005 · Internet & computing
The page found by the original query:
Words that start with E—The Devil’s Dictionary X™
How to beat a paternity test.
Quit being such an asshole and use a condom. Better yet, double bag it. No sense risking any copies of you making it into the world.
But seriously. Right before you have to go to the doctor’s office to give the DNA sample, soak your pecker in Clorox®. Works every time.
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25 February 2004 · how-to
The page found by the original query:
Words that start with B—The Devil’s Dictionary X™
"underage nude" -pedo -illegal
What did you think you were searching for? Underage is by definition illegal. That is to what the “under” refers: the legal age of consent. Maybe you were just looking for classier beaver shots of 14 year-‌olds?
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03 October 2005 · Ps & Qs
The page found by the original query:
Sedition·com: Young nude girls
wood white supremacy
Ah, don’t go examining your own premises with too much science now.
Just as one might find in the homo sapiens sapiens realm if one had enough objective data, one easily finds in the world Arboria. Dark woods are stronger, harder, more durable, more expensive, and more attractive. Even the nicest pine needs a good stain to weather well and look pretty.
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16 May 2005 · race relations
The page found by the original query:
Sedition·com: White supremacy pride checkl…
"yankee pig dog"
Present!
Oh, sorry. I dozed off there. Thought you were taking roll or something.
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14 July 2005 · potluck
spic nigger chink
Asshole moron nobody.
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01 June 2005 · race relations
The page found by the original query:
nigger—The Devil’s Dictionary X™
the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge
This was a typo in an early edition which never got corrected. The original text read–
the love of Christ, which passeth for knowledge
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14 June 2007 · Bible study
The page found by the original query:
“THE LOVE OF CHRIST WHICH PASSETH KNOWLEDG…
non toxic snail repellent garden
Beer is supposed to work and the states with the worst slug problems, Oregon and Washington, coincidentally have the greatest amount of locally brewed beer which can be considered eminently disposable.
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06 May 2005 · wine & roses
Do you know what really happened?
Yes I do. We all do. We agreed not to talk about it with you.
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27 February 2004 · potluck
show me your pecker
Pileated pecker o'wood. I don’t know. It’s pretty big…
You know I should also mention that in addition to being 15 inches long it can deliver a pounding all day.
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21 October 2005 · PR
The page found by the original query:
The Pecker Affair
evolution
Seven wings between them
Fabulous image courtesy of the good people at Don’t Drink the Koolaid.
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26 August 2005 · Darwin & design
The page found by the original query:
Sedition·com: I have a theory
Friends of QueryLog
Draper’s Mourning for Icarus Sedition·com, obviously.
The Devil’s Dictionary X™, the Godmother of the thing.
The Internet’s best surgery how-‌to site, Steel White Table.
The Devil’s Dictionary (2.0).
The Atomic Deathray. His name is not Talking Tina.
Paul Tobin’s excellent, solidly argued, thoroughly documented and supported Rejection of Pascal’s Wager: A Skeptic’s Guide to Christianity.
Blambot. I’m a fontographer too and I’ve always really liked these guys’ work.
The Bread Site?!? They asked nicely and are unwitting contributors so t’is only just.
Plan 8 from Doubter Space, the only news filter we read and the first site to recognize QueryLog’s massive importance to society and the future of mankind.
Don’t Drink The Koolaid.
Five the Six at Do I know you?
If you want your site listed here, consider being better at what you do or maybe just linking us.
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22 May 2005
All terms relating to sex
You need to read some Freud and start saving for all 20 volumes of The Oxford English Dictionary.
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29 July 2005 · sex counselor
girls equal devil
I must say, you’ve achieved a lot of wisdom for someone your age.
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25 April 2005 · relationships
The page found by the original query:
Words that start with T—The Devil’s Dictionary X™
How to build a butterfly pavilion.
Study the work of Frank Gehry.
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26 February 2004 · how-to
"rosa parks" "what really happened"
The Fateful Bus. Mrs Rosa Parks died a week ago on 24 October 2005. While many have celebrated her refusal to take a back seat on an Alabama bus as an act of courage paving the way for improved race relations, like so much history, the reality doesn’t bear a great similarity to the retelling.
There was a stenography student on the bus that fateful day in 1955 who was practicing for her vocational test. The entire event was recorded word for word. Until just this week the transcript lay buried in a desk drawer in the Governor’s palace where the young lady forgot it the next evening. We purchased it on eBay.
Finally, we at QueryLog.com can reveal what really happened.
ROSA PARKS
(Steps onto bus and pushes driver out of the way of the first seat.)
BUS DRIVER
Excuse me, ma’am. We were doing repairs on the seats in the front of the bus this morning and they’re not bolted down correctly. Please take a seat in the back of the bus.
ROSA PARKS
Fuck you, Casper!
BUS DRIVER
Oh, ma’am. Please. There’s really no need for that kind of language. These seats are simply not safe. They’ll be repaired tomorrow.
ROSA PARKS
I ain’t going to the back, honkey, and not you or the whole damn Confederate Army is making me!
BUS DRIVER
Ma’am. Please. I do not want you to get hurt. You must sit in back where the seats aren’t being worked on.
ROSA PARKS
You are not threatenin’ me?!
POLICE OFFICER
(Stepping onto bus.)
I couldn’t help overhearing from the street. Is there a problem?
ROSA PARKS
Arrest me?! I’ll kick you plumb in your little pink googlies, you pizzle biting cracka’!
POLICE OFFICER
Whoa, whoa. Ma’am. No one’s getting arrested. I just wanted to see what the shouting was about.
ROSA PARKS
You can’t scare me with your gun and your big black stick, muthafucka’!
POLICE OFFICER
(Looks upset like maybe he’ll cry.)
Well, ma’am. I’m quite sure I didn’t deserve that.
ROSA PARKS
I’ll tell you what you deserve, honkey. Picking cotton till your fingers bleed and a good beating and rape every night for supper.
DRIVER
Ma’am. The seats in front aren’t safe. I must insist you take a seat in the rear with everyone else — white and black.
ROSA PARKS
I shall not. I demand to be arrested!!
POLICE OFFICER
I have half a mind to oblige you ma’am but bad manners are not illegal at this time in Montgomery.
ROSA PARKS
(Kicks the officer in the testicles.)
Fix you like the cracka’ bitch you are!
POLICE OFFICER
(Doubled over in pain.)
That’ll do. You’re under arrest.
ROSA PARKS
On what charge?!
POLICE OFFICER
Not going to the back of this goddamn bus for one thing.
ROSA PARKS
(Screaming for help and flailing to get away. Continues to scream.)
You hear that!? I know y’all heard that! Help me, Jesus! Help me! I’m being lynched!!
POLICE OFFICER
(Puts the cuffs on her and walks her off the bus.)
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03 November 2005 · race relations
The page found by the original query:
Sedition·com: She should know what really happened
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