I was unfamiliar with this expression. And though I was somewhat surprised initially that it found one of my pages, I must say it certainly should have.
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Permanent link · http://querylog.com/q/Bullshit+and+a+bag+of+crackers
I wonder how many women like her have been satirically stalked by writers like me and been alarmed and then disappointed when they realize it’s just a bit and I haven’t thought once about that lady since the last time she assured in a local late-night spot that the cars on her lot were top notch.
Would it be worse to find out you were being stalked or to find out that you never had been and only ever could be as a joke?
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Permanent link · http://querylog.com/q/%22Ava+Harvey%22
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penny limerick version 2.01
ashley pond the fifth
was the target of a grift
that was intergalactic in its scope,
with one hand in his pants
and a strong distaste for france
he’s got one hand full of hope.
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Permanent link · http://querylog.com/q/Poems+about+the+name+'Ashley'
And if you want a piece about defecation that might actually move you—and no, not every fucking pun needs to be declared like you’re so proud you can shit them out with some kind of nearly human regularity—I insist you read this at once: Reactionary Fungi.
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Every time I masturbate, God kills a Siberian tiger. I believe it was my great-great-great grandpappy, Ashley the Longer, who was responsible for the extinction of the saber-toothed cats in the Americas.
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Permanent link · http://querylog.com/q/every+time+you+masturbate+God+kills+a+kitten
I bring this one out for two reasons. Sedition·com is currently #1 on Google for this search. And because it’s the only thing I have perfect recall of Mike Whorlton saying to me.
Mike was my best friend for a couple years as a boy. He was the only kid taller than I was which was itself remarkable. I hit 6' at twelve. He was my first employer as well. For whatever reason a couple of the Metzger Elementary bullies were intimidated by me. It’s two not uninteresting and long stories but, in short, one was attacked by birds trying to get me and another had poor reflexes when running at high speeds. So Mike, not well liked, paid me 5¢ a day to be his body guard.
Mike was the only 9 year-old I knew who cussed. He had sugar problems, lived in a kinda scary place with a kinda scary step dad and a lot of velvet paintings and a talking magpie. I don’t know what became of Mike. I hope he got out of Metzger and landed somewhere farther than Beaverton.
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