Queries & Replies by Topic: PR

pics of a forty seven foot king cobra
No such thing.
SNWD!
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16 June 2007 · PR
The page found by the original query:
Bangkok Butterflies » The End of the Coffe…
ashley pond killed
Not so far, but I keep trying: The 99 Names of God (revised).
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12 June 2007 · PR
The page found by the original query:
majenta || Articles of Presidency || sedition.com
Orion Cervio 2007
I can get you into a used model much cheaper.
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04 June 2007 · PR
The page found by the original query:
Sedition·com | About Sedition·com
Bullshit and a bag of crackers
I was unfamiliar with this expression. And though I was somewhat surprised initially that it found one of my pages, I must say it certainly should have.
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06 May 2007 · PR
The page found by the original query:
majenta || Psycho Aquarian New Age Hose Ba…
"Ava Harvey"
This was an inside joke taken too far, I suspect.
I wonder how many women like her have been satirically stalked by writers like me and been alarmed and then disappointed when they realize it’s just a bit and I haven’t thought once about that lady since the last time she assured in a local late-‌night spot that the cars on her lot were top notch.
Would it be worse to find out you were being stalked or to find out that you never had been and only ever could be as a joke?
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10 April 2007 · PR
The page found by the original query:
majenta || CLASSIFIEDS * PERSONALS || sedition.com
insects on naked girl
Ah, the long tail is finally catching up with me. About time the market catered to my fetishes.
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09 April 2007 · PR
The page found by the original query:
Sedition·com: Sedition·com archived dailies
ashley was a boy's name
WAS?!?
Well, it’s okay. Humans used to need intelligence and ability to survive.
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23 November 2006 · PR
The page found by the original query:
APV: Ashley Is a Boy’s Name
personal words to start the day with
This is one more day I can make it through without killing anyone. Because I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people are scared of me!
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24 October 2006 · PR
The page found by the original query:
Words that start with C—The Devil’s Dictionary X™
Poems about the name 'Ashley'
penny limerick version 2.01
ashley pond the fifth
was the target of a grift
that was intergalactic in its scope,
with one hand in his pants
and a strong distaste for france
he’s got one hand full of hope.
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23 October 2006 · PR
The page found by the original query:
majenta || The Book of Embraces || sedition.com
dominique francon remake
No, huh?
Well, would you believe Renate Dominique?
Would you believe four Cub Scouts armed with magnifying glasses on a partly sunny day?
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16 October 2006 · PR
The page found by the original query:
Sedition·com: Not always for show
where was the bomb created?
In my great-‌grandfather’s ice shed. Well, that’s where they kept some of the parts anyway [link].
I need to put a topic flag on the site along the lines of “No, seriously.”
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06 October 2006 · PR
The page found by the original query:
QueryLog: Why was the nuclear bomb created.
hands on my ass
I’m only addressing this because it is an Internet travesty that whats-‌her-‌nose, Babs McTetes, got a higher rank in Google than I.
me v her
Jesus… read hers: A Story About My Ass.
Now mine: untitled for queers.
Now you tell me who belongs on top.
And if you want a piece about defecation that might actually move you—and no, not every fucking pun needs to be declared like you’re so proud you can shit them out with some kind of nearly human regularity—I insist you read this at once: Reactionary Fungi.
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29 September 2006 · PR
The page found by the original query:
majenta || untitled for queers || sedition.com
every time you masturbate God kills a kitten
Every time I masturbate, God kills a Siberian tiger. I believe it was my great-‌great-‌great grandpappy, Ashley the Longer, who was responsible for the extinction of the saber-‌toothed cats in the Americas.
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27 September 2006 · PR
The page found by the original query:
Sedition·com: 50 queries from the weblog a…
fox hole
Me: You think we’re ever gonna get out of this?
Myself: If we do, I’ll do the Lord’s works, so help me. I swear.
Me: You ever notice that when we’re in trouble I’m the calm one and you somehow aren’t so tough any more?
Myself: Please, Jesus! I’ll do anything you ask.
Me: Color me shocked.
Myself: What’s that Lord? Hey, Jesus says there are too many unbelievers in the world today.
Me: Yeah?
Myself: And in this fox hole in particular.
Me: Ah.
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19 September 2006 · Bible study · PR
The page found by the original query:
fox-hole—The Devil’s Dictionary X™
kiss sucks
Kiss sucks. I bring this one out for two reasons. Sedition·com is currently #1 on Google for this search. And because it’s the only thing I have perfect recall of Mike Whorlton saying to me.
Mike was my best friend for a couple years as a boy. He was the only kid taller than I was which was itself remarkable. I hit 6' at twelve. He was my first employer as well. For whatever reason a couple of the Metzger Elementary bullies were intimidated by me. It’s two not uninteresting and long stories but, in short, one was attacked by birds trying to get me and another had poor reflexes when running at high speeds. So Mike, not well liked, paid me 5¢ a day to be his body guard.
Mike was the only 9 year-‌old I knew who cussed. He had sugar problems, lived in a kinda scary place with a kinda scary step dad and a lot of velvet paintings and a talking magpie. I don’t know what became of Mike. I hope he got out of Metzger and landed somewhere farther than Beaverton.
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30 May 2006 · PR
The page found by the original query:
Sedition·com: But KISS does suck shit
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